What to Do if Your Child Is Struggling: Steps Caregivers Can Take To Help Kids and Teens With Their Mental Health

Emerging research suggests that child and adolescent mental health problems are on the rise. For example, one in four children report that they have experienced clinically elevated rates of depression, and rates of emergency department visits for attempted suicide have increased by 22 per cent in the past few years.

As clinicians and researchers, we have interacted with thousands of caregivers, many of whom have asked us how they can better understand and support their children’s mental health.

Below we offer a step-by-step guide for recognizing the signs of mental distress and responding with support and resources to help foster recovery and resilience in children and adolescents.

Talk to your children about mental health

We encourage caregivers to have conversations about mental health early and often, whether their child or teen is struggling or not. This helps to normalize the conversation and supports children and adolescents in knowing they can go to you when they are struggling.

Conversations are especially important when children or adolescents appear to be struggling. You can start by letting them know you care, and then pointing out what you have observed in terms of changes in their distress and daily functioning, such as “I’ve noticed that you’ve been sleeping a lot more than usual. Have you noticed these changes too?” Then ask if you can talk about this further together to deepen the conversation.

If you feel that strategy won’t work for your child, or if you often get answers of “fine” to “how are you feeling?”, try the third person strategy, which can reduce distress during tense conversations.

In this scenario, make a statement about children’s mental health generally, such as “I hear there’s a lot of kids and teens struggling with their mental health right now” and then ask open-ended questions, such as: “what do you think about that?” or “what have you noticed about your own mental health lately”?

When you have conversations about mental health with your child or adolescent, try to minimize any potential discomfort. It’s best to find a time that works well for your child. For example, when they are rested, fed, and relaxed.

Talk with their teacher

If you remain concerned about your child, and want to gather additional information, you could speak with their teacher or guidance counsellor. Up to 80 per cent of children get their knowledge about mental health from schools. Guidance counsellors are specifically trained to address mental health concerns and other school staff are used to having conversations about mental health with students. They typically welcome these conversations with caregivers.

Teachers can also provide a valuable perspective on how a child’s mental health may have changed, and what might be precipitating these changes. For example, children may be experiencing learning struggles or bullying, which they haven’t yet disclosed to you, but is causing them some distress. Guidance counsellors and teachers can also help brainstorm ideas for building up children’s coping strategies and supporting their success at school.

If possible, have your child join these conversations, so they feel involved in discussions about their own mental health and develop agency in addressing it.

Talk with your health-care provider

Health-care providers are trained in evaluating mental and physical health problems alike. They can formally screen and assess for mental health problems by asking the caregiver and child questions about changes in mood, behaviour and functioning and matching symptoms of distress and impairment with “diagnostic criteria” for various mental health disorders.

With this knowledge, health-care providers can offer strategies and resources to support children and caregivers. They will work with caregivers and children directly to decide on the best approaches to addressing the child’s mental health struggles.

It is also important to let children and adolescents know of other services they can access for support, such as Kids Help Phone, which is available via text or phone 24/7.